He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
