last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
