It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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