i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
