Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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