I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
