Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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