i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
