As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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