Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
