East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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