i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
