i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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