woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drake has all the answers
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
