Screwed.edu
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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