so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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