New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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