a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
