did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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