I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
