Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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