walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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