hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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