I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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