if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
