"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she looked like the before picture.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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