I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're a waste of cheezeits
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
