I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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