If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
