She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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