fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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