She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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