I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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