Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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