...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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