Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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