dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
