either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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