so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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