Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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