Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
