if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
