So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
