I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
