just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
