It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
