You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
