I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
