i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They are going to name an STD after you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
