Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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